Boil water and preheat oven. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, then set your oven to 350°F (175°C) with a rack arranged in the center.

Prep the cheese mixture. Meanwhile, to a blender, add the eggs, evaporated milk, cottage cheese, goat cheese, nutritional yeast, salt, paprika, and cayenne, and blend until smooth. Then add 8oz (227g) of the grated Gruyère, 4oz (113g) of the grated Colby-Jack, the Velveeta, and the American cheese, and blend again until the cheese is broken up into tiny bits and each is evenly distributed.

Cook the pasta. When the water is boiling, liberally salt, then add the pasta and cook 1–2 minutes under the al dente time on the package.

Assemble and bake. Meanwhile, grease a large 13-inch (33cm) baking dish with the softened butter, then pour in the cheese mixture. When the pasta is al dente, reserve a little bit of starchy pasta water, then drain. Add the pasta and 2 tablespoons of the pasta water to the cheese sauce and mix until the pasta is evenly distributed and everything is spread out evenly in the dish. Toss the remaining Gruyère and Colby-Jack together, then sprinkle the cheese evenly over the top of the mac, and bake for 30 minutes, or until the mac and cheese is gently bubbling and set around the edges. Broil on low for another 2–3 minutes, or until the top is golden brown, then remove.

Cool and serve. Let the mac and cheese sit for about 5 minutes, then serve and enjoy!